au naturel...

pour la première fois depuis que je l'ai connue...

ses yeux ne portais rien que leur beauté..
ses paupières n'avaient que leur ombre naturel..
ses joues que leur couleur rosée.

ses cheuveux queue-d-cheval..
la façon qu'elle s'ait dréssée ce soir..

tout était si naturel..
rien d'additif..

ce chef d'œuvre de Dieux..
sa splendeur intacte de femme,


simplement adorable.

bonbon amer

la façon qu'elle se déhanche chaque fois qu'elle parcourt cette allée menant à sa maison...

la façon qu'elle se tourne pour s'exprimer une fois de plus un "au revoir"...

les sentiments qu'elle me fait eprouver lors de mon trajet de retour...

toutes ces femmes en elles...


une heure ou quelque, une épreuve de patience chaque fois que notre rendez-vous prend fin..

bonbon amer.

climbing..

"Climbing is inherently dangerous and even under the best of circumstances tragedies can occur. When you climb, realize that you can be injured, crippled, or even killed even if you did nothing wrong. Experience may reduce the risks involved but they will never be eliminated."
getbeta.com

such a warning!

now that's what i'm talking about..

congratulations

congratulations for the Lebanese Army...
congratulations for Lebanon.

May The Lord safeguard the ones who remain.
May the souls of the ones who died defending their country, rest in peace.

elle même

son regard de Eva Green quand on se parle..
les baisers qui se dessinent dans ses yeux..
sa tête qui se penche comme pour exprimer une timidité..
sa démarche, parfois déhanchée..
ses lèvres couleurs de cerise..
ses cheveux délaissés..

sa présence silencieuse qui s'impose partout..

elle même..
me manquent.

[ Scénario Alternatif ]: un rève de jour

il faisait déjà tard..

belle comme le levé du jour, elle s'est appuyée sur ma voiture, les bras croisés, dans le parking mal éclairé de l'ABC..

j'avais le souvenir qu'elle m'a apporté toujours dans la main..

[ je lui tiens le visage dans mes mains..
je l'embrasse..
elle se tient là, étonnée, sans rien boujer, me fixant du regard, à travers des yeux d'une déesse..
"qu'as tu fais?!"
un momment passe; me parait une éternité..
"j'ai exprimé ce que j'ai pas pu trouvé les mots pour dire"..]

je l'ai remercié sans même la regarder..
"pousses toi un peu, tu vas salir ta belle robe.."
on s'est dit au revoir et chaqun est parti dans sa voiture..

plus tard on s'est croisé sur un feu rouge..
elle m'a salué de la main en souriant..
m'a simplement coupé le souffle.

sans titre

et j'ai cru qu'elle a cessé d'écrire..

la balade dans les rues mortes..
la conversation silencieuse...
son parfum de femme..
le regard qui me retient le souffle..

tout ça m'a déjà manqué..

des mots inscrits au delà de ma peau..

elle écrit toujours..

khedni..

before coming back, i was longing for it... the return.
a longing i was sure would fade in a while, after i be back in the arms of my beloved...

my beloved, or shall i omit the possessive?

what have i done to her, what have i given?
what else could she give?
what else could i ask for....

it is when i was born that she gave me all..
i shall not ask for more... nor expect..

i shall simply give with all my being.
i want to.

the longing remains for my motherland..
Habibi Lebnan.

w ba3den!

je me laisse entrainer par le courant sans se soucier de la destination et incertain des consequences..

je resiste parfois, puis je me laisse aller..

je prétends rester à la surface tout le temps alors que je ne le suis pas...
en fait, je plonge...

w ba3den!

Spontané..

Vendredi dernier, on m'a montré la lune, pleine lune... la planète argentée m'a parue.. une simple tache blanche dans un ciel noir..

Ce soir, la lune m'a parue d'une telle beauté...

Bon ce post ci, c'est Spontané.

D'une part c'est un chuchotement, de l'autre un cri.

simple envie..

[...] j'ai tant envie d'errer avec elle, dans les rues mortes, la nuit, sur des trottoirs mouillés de pluie..

est ce possible?

... je l'ai senti toute la journée dans ma tête, son parfum chaleureux...
depuis notre dernière rencontre, je ne pense plus qu'à elle...

j'ai cru qu'un tel sentiment est parti pour de bon...

je lai connue depuis pas mal de temps, mais je ne l'ai jamais vue d'une facon pareille, jamais observée à travers des yeux envieux...

je n'arrive pas à comprendre...

j'admirais toujours sa façon de penser, de se tenir... sa tête bien faite..
mais son sourire, ses yeux, elle était si belle, plus belle que jamais, cette dernière fois..
bien qu'elle ne montre rien, cela devient de plus en plus difficile de résister...

mais je dois...

No more nostalgia..

for the first time since 09/11/2004 when i first landed in Dubai, i managed to book a one-way ticket to Lebanon.

Out of respect for this nation, i will hold my tongue with what i feel in the regards of life here...

Going back home, to my Lebanon..
to the mess, yes indeed..
to the worries about the situation, yes indeed..
to the contrast between a life one gets used to in Dubai, and the one awaiting in Lebanon...
to the countless wonderful things about people and nature...

I know all missing arises from a need, once the need is fulfilled the missing ceases, and i will be seeing objectively again..

I will look at the life and situation in Lebanon from a different perspective..
Nevertheless, i always liked it.

The one thing that changed since i left by the end of 2004 is the appreciation i have for my Country, with all its controversies, now i appreciate it even more..
Once i stopped taking it for granted, i realized how valuable it is to me.

Well, i can't wait for it all to BE, just being back home.. where i belong...

Farewell Dubai, i hope never to set foot again on this sand, for any reason except a short visit.

done, i am finally leaving!

this are the last minutes in my Sharjah apartement.
i am finally leaving it, will miss it though!

moving to Dubai, DIP [Dubi Investement Park]....

Merry Christmas

on this wholy night,

i miss...
no face in particular,
no voice in particular,
no name in particular,
no touch in particular...

i simply miss...feeling.

Merry Christmas
Joyeux Noel
ميلاد مجيد
С Рождеством
Sarbatori Vesele
Maligayamg Pasko
Feliz Navidad

to everyone, especially those who are in need, to enjoy a warm christmas eve, and forget the meaning of hunger for at least, one night.

tu parts?

tu parts?

t'as enfin trouvé une destination?

moi, j'ais toujours CRU que j'en ais une...

sigh..

i was watching LBC eu, some clips, screening the channels list for the Lebanese ones hoping to find some news..
i hear it here and there about the boiling situation home, back home..
a clip showed some of the areas in downtown Beirut..
i felt weird, like i have to let the air out of my chest...
a feeling when you see a loved one, someone you been away from for too long, only with the knowledge you'll never be one with them again..

if i manage to go home on christmas this year...
i'll take as many photos as i can... for the memory.

destination..

on Wednesday, i left the office at around 21.15...
my car was parked a bit far from the entrance, it was mostly dark..
i was walking slowly, arms crossed, taking small steps to the last car on that street...
the white lines on the tarmac seemed endless..
as i took these steps, one after the other, my destination seemed to keep the same distance from me...

i wished i could just take off and leave, carry nothing and hit the road, a highway ending in the horizon.

my destination is actually keeping the same distance, it is somewhere, i dunno where.


i am just a traveller.

to all lebanese..

i got this by mail today, finally something worth posting..
“A Message of Peace and Love to ALL my fellow Lebanese everywhere in the world!

Dear Lebanese,

I would like this message to be a wake-up call to all Lebanese everywhere; whatever our political beliefs, religion or sect!
Please hear this plea:

Lebanon is going through a very difficult period on many different levels but most importantly on a street level.
I URGE everyone to try your best to calm the people around you. Now is not the time to 'talk' or to inflame friends and neighbours.
Please practice restraints!

If we allow them, the political crisis our politicians are putting us through will soon spill onto our streets!
If WE, as sovereign and independent Lebanese citizens, do nothing to stop it we will have a civil war on our hands again!

We have to use our rational and our common sense and not be manipulated into hatred of one another and street expressions!

None of us want to see our children fighting and killing each other on the streets again!
None of us want to witness a new wave of death, hate, destruction and humiliation again!
None of us want to be manipulated and treated like sheep without any will or conscious again!
None of us want to live in fear of sending our children to their universities and schools where students are being bullied and bitten for expressing an opinion again!

Please talk to your children and friends and convince them:
Not to rise to provocation
Not to allow anyone to push their buttons
Not to be source of provocation
Not to inflame other's political and/or religious loyalties
Not to get into a war of words with others over politics or religion
Not to get into fist-fights or feuds with others over politics or religion
Not to destroy or assist in the destruction of another's properties/cars over politics or religion
Not to be influenced into expressing their opinions in our streets !
If you love our Lebanon, please forward this message to as many Lebanese as you possibly can ...
...so that we can help calm and defuse a highly explosive situation and maybe avert a crisis!
Our country's survival and the lives of our children depend on our collective efforts!

Peace be upon us all!

A Patriotic Lebanese
On behalf of all Lebanese”

Lebanese hospitality..

How lovely of you to drop in
How glorious, how kind
We expected your visit long since
Prepared ourselves, hope you don’t mind.

We would have cast out that carpet red
We could have made a feast
For now, please accept “our...
by Elle-est-Mental
i came to check it on deviantART

for the full poem:
please visit Lebanese hospitality.

often times

oftentimes i look inside and do not like what i see..

untitled

enough posting things that bring people pain...

speachless

social, religious?

-Do you know this lady?
-Yes, she is no lady, she is the French Lieutenant's whore..!
[from the movie: "The French Lieutenant's Woman"]

Why is it that when a woman yeilds to her desires, she is called a whore and a man not?
*just an ancient habit?
*manhood threaten?
*social habits breach?
*she makes other women subconsciously jealous?
*religious thing..?

as is.

i got this by mail this morning, i hereby post it as is.

no comment.

Quana, once again!

amid the silence of the night and the peaceful sleep of the lebanese children in a shelter in the southern village of Quana...
a massive explosion awakes everyone...
among the screaming of the babies and the rushing of the mothers to hold their children, hoping to protect them with their lives..
the building roars, falling on their heads...
burried alive....

more than 60 dead of which more than 37 children ranging between 1 and 10 years old; all of them terrorists?

no words can describe..
no compassion can bring consolation..

a mother tells how she managed to save her son and her husband, uncovering them by digging in the debris with her bare hands...
once she reaches her daughter, realizing she is alrerady dead, she holds her tiny little hand and kisses it with a sigh...
then she flees for her life.

hundres of stories like these...
a father comes home after going to fetch some food to find it in ruins with his wife and too children burried under the debris..

another day for the Israeli Government..
they perceive it as an achievement...
the humanity sees it as inhumane.
there is no beast capable of such a ravage.

i feel guilty for even breathing.

Israeli websites

To all my patriots:
I go out for everyone who has the nerve control to visit Israeli news websites.
I understand we are being killed everyday, but carrying the sword in this web realm is of no use, the power of the WORD can be greater.
By targetting the educated and socially mature Israelis we might be able to have a good influence and contribute in the efforts to end that massacre.

for the first time...

silly....
so silly...
my thoughts are scattered.
i watch the tv, all time at home...
i stick to the news sites at the office, working from time to time..
grief? pain? hopelessness? maybe all!
i stare at the screen, type a few words, hold my head between my hands, close my eyes and breath, like a furious bull but keep quiet, calm.
my knee shakes like a snake's tail..
i light another cigarette, watch some tv; Jazeera, Hurra, Manar, NTV, Arabiya..looking for some news...
back to the pc, tayyar.org; refresh, skim thru the lines...
5 dead there, 10 somewhere else, numbers on the screen, terrible losses for others...
walk here and there, hands behind my back, bedroom, corridor, entrance, kitchen, living room, looking thru the windows, seeing nothing..
online petitions, rallies, candle lighting, and then?
i scratch my forehead, nearly taking the skin off.
all the embassies are calling on their citizens, some send warships for evacuation...
what about us?
my patriots!!!!!

every pole in the war escalates it higher and higher.
i do not see an end to this, before my country is burried in ashes...

photography, languages, education, all that interests me: BULLSHIT!
all my interests fall into ashes..

for the first time, i feel an urge to fight for my country; under the Lebanese flag.

my homeland is ravaged
my patriots are being savagely murdered
innocent civilians...burned!

call me naive, call me silly, call me primitive...
i am me, as silly as i feel...
i feel like leaving everything behind, and coming back to Lebanon.
call it madness.
self control feels like an oasis in a desert..
i feel rage...

i'll just stay home!

ashamed as i am.

i am there..

wow, i feel good...

after a 5 years stop, finally i am back..

last night was my first stepping into a squash court, after such a long break..

1 hour of practise, 90 minutes of games, feels great..

waking up today, i can feel every muscle in my body...
and i can say, it feels juuuuust good..

can't wait for the next session..