Quana, once again!

amid the silence of the night and the peaceful sleep of the lebanese children in a shelter in the southern village of Quana...
a massive explosion awakes everyone...
among the screaming of the babies and the rushing of the mothers to hold their children, hoping to protect them with their lives..
the building roars, falling on their heads...
burried alive....

more than 60 dead of which more than 37 children ranging between 1 and 10 years old; all of them terrorists?

no words can describe..
no compassion can bring consolation..

a mother tells how she managed to save her son and her husband, uncovering them by digging in the debris with her bare hands...
once she reaches her daughter, realizing she is alrerady dead, she holds her tiny little hand and kisses it with a sigh...
then she flees for her life.

hundres of stories like these...
a father comes home after going to fetch some food to find it in ruins with his wife and too children burried under the debris..

another day for the Israeli Government..
they perceive it as an achievement...
the humanity sees it as inhumane.
there is no beast capable of such a ravage.

i feel guilty for even breathing.

Israeli websites

To all my patriots:
I go out for everyone who has the nerve control to visit Israeli news websites.
I understand we are being killed everyday, but carrying the sword in this web realm is of no use, the power of the WORD can be greater.
By targetting the educated and socially mature Israelis we might be able to have a good influence and contribute in the efforts to end that massacre.

for the first time...

silly....
so silly...
my thoughts are scattered.
i watch the tv, all time at home...
i stick to the news sites at the office, working from time to time..
grief? pain? hopelessness? maybe all!
i stare at the screen, type a few words, hold my head between my hands, close my eyes and breath, like a furious bull but keep quiet, calm.
my knee shakes like a snake's tail..
i light another cigarette, watch some tv; Jazeera, Hurra, Manar, NTV, Arabiya..looking for some news...
back to the pc, tayyar.org; refresh, skim thru the lines...
5 dead there, 10 somewhere else, numbers on the screen, terrible losses for others...
walk here and there, hands behind my back, bedroom, corridor, entrance, kitchen, living room, looking thru the windows, seeing nothing..
online petitions, rallies, candle lighting, and then?
i scratch my forehead, nearly taking the skin off.
all the embassies are calling on their citizens, some send warships for evacuation...
what about us?
my patriots!!!!!

every pole in the war escalates it higher and higher.
i do not see an end to this, before my country is burried in ashes...

photography, languages, education, all that interests me: BULLSHIT!
all my interests fall into ashes..

for the first time, i feel an urge to fight for my country; under the Lebanese flag.

my homeland is ravaged
my patriots are being savagely murdered
innocent civilians...burned!

call me naive, call me silly, call me primitive...
i am me, as silly as i feel...
i feel like leaving everything behind, and coming back to Lebanon.
call it madness.
self control feels like an oasis in a desert..
i feel rage...

i'll just stay home!

ashamed as i am.

i am there..