mourning...

i learned only yesterday!!!!!

This goes out to you, Tony.. or the way we used to call you Mr. Abed...

you were a friend, you used to be most of the time present whether it was a picnic, a hike, a cave journey, a dinner, a lunch in Hasroun.... and most of all, on my birthday gatherings when my friends knew i would appreciate your presence.... thank you.

you were a big brother who always gave me advice, you were always there, ready to listen when my troubled mind was seeking answers, your wisdom was there to guide me... thank you.

you always corrected my grammar mitakes in french... thank you.

you were a superior for the 6.5 years i worked at the bank, you taught me a lot, more than i can list... thank you.

you taught me how to make my tie look nice... in many ways... thank you.

whoever knew you could tell that you had a wonderful spirit, younger than all of us who were even younger than your daughter Karen...

you were always active; a daily swim whenever the beach is accessible in the warm season, a long walk in the winter days..
i still can't believe this could happen to you...

on chrismas 2004, on christmas eve, i learned the news about your disease, that disease that deprived me from many precious people, dear to my heart...
i called you that night and wished you a merry christmas, as if i knew nothing...
i never actually spoke of it in our conversations.. knowing your pride wouldn't appreciate it...
in my few visits to Lebanon, you refused to meet me, as with everyone else, giving excuses... a phone conversation would do?
i always accepted it, knowing you'd prefer that the only figure we keep in our hearts is your smiling face...


but now, now that your're gone, it just hurts a lot...
it makes me cry.
i never really thanked you for everything..
if i only knew on Wednesday....i would have gotten on the first plane to say goodbye.


...هدَنيي شو تافهة

Requiem eternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.