realtionships
It has actually been a while since i haven't posted anything but photos...
I was chatting with a friend who just went to sleep, sweet dreams "M"...
we were talking about loneliness, and needs...
We spoke of relationships, a subject triggered by Fouad's most recent post..
I believe the psychological state of someone [meaning the prevailing state of mind rather the actual immediate one] is reflected in any reaction to a certain situation, or any comment on a certain post..
I recalled a quote noted by "J", a dear friend of mine: "Si tu ne trouves pas d'ami sage, prêt à cheminer avec toi, résolu, constant, marche seul" - Buddha
A relation started on a need basis, has slight chance for survival; in order to fulfill these needs we start ignoring the little things that pile up to become suddenly non-neglectible... the rest is known to all..
When we are so lonely and we run into someone with the potential of becoming our partener [considering our perception of a pertener at that time, which is focused on a certain aspect of the relation], our mind automatically directs us towards that person... often times, wether we realize it or not, we blindly follow the inner call..
Once we find fulfillement in being alone, we are healthy and ready to choose our soul mate, any relationships sooner experienced, are attempts that tame us , helping us maintain a future relationship, only longer.
I was chatting with a friend who just went to sleep, sweet dreams "M"...
we were talking about loneliness, and needs...
We spoke of relationships, a subject triggered by Fouad's most recent post..
I believe the psychological state of someone [meaning the prevailing state of mind rather the actual immediate one] is reflected in any reaction to a certain situation, or any comment on a certain post..
I recalled a quote noted by "J", a dear friend of mine: "Si tu ne trouves pas d'ami sage, prêt à cheminer avec toi, résolu, constant, marche seul" - Buddha
A relation started on a need basis, has slight chance for survival; in order to fulfill these needs we start ignoring the little things that pile up to become suddenly non-neglectible... the rest is known to all..
When we are so lonely and we run into someone with the potential of becoming our partener [considering our perception of a pertener at that time, which is focused on a certain aspect of the relation], our mind automatically directs us towards that person... often times, wether we realize it or not, we blindly follow the inner call..
Once we find fulfillement in being alone, we are healthy and ready to choose our soul mate, any relationships sooner experienced, are attempts that tame us , helping us maintain a future relationship, only longer.
posted by nour at 09:45
9 Comments:
thanks for this. yes you're absolutely right. before we invite someone into our life, we have to have a fully balanced life first. then the partner should be a nice 'addition' and not a complementation of something that is missing within you.
M.
on the other extreme, there are people who believe in this so much that "not needing someone" becomes a way of life. they say there isn't such thing as "the one" or "the soul mate"; that people come and go in your life & each one of them leaves a certain impact on you, in some way... It's a terrible feeling. they just forgot what it's like to actually need someone. can you imagine?
i do know people like that. it does become a way of life but from what i've seen till they find a person that they're interested in making time for and i agree with nour's point in that when it doesn't come out of needing the person it tends to be healthier
it sometimes becomes easier to convince oneself that we are better off alone, than to go through the experiance again..
we can believe anything we want and build our own world that we unconsciously defend with every logic we have.
Relationships experienced sooner DO tame us. You learn more about urself and about the "other". You vividly realize what you want and what you do not want in the partner based on your previous experiences. Sometimes we learn it the hard way but that's life and its beauty.
C'est toujour mieux quand on est a deux! mais....
It's like a puzzle, you need the right piece, otherwise it won't stick.... When you find it, you'll know...it'll stick :)
Nour, I don't agree. No body has to convince himself anything. If somebody finds himself better alone, let it be.
anonymous:
no one has to convince themselves with anything...i agree..
objectively speaking, it sometimes becomes easier to convince oneself, when one fears the relation..
Nour,
Relationships ARE to be feared! If you consider it, a relationship is the most expensive investment one can ever make in his life and its ROI is not always as we expect/deserve.
However, don't block...If mothers consider the pain they go through at delivery time, no one would have been born!
Everything is so right. Buddha was so wise to doubt in his words :-)) But sometimes it is too painful to go alone…But life is wonderful…And lessons we get in our lives are unique… We just have to go on… Alone or with somebody…
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