Emotional surge
06.31 driving to the office, along with the rising sun...
listening to Fairuz...
there are these moments when you remember the past with a bitter-sweet feeling... you hold your breath, then just, sigh...
i recall the days when i was back in lebanon, our excursions to the Kannoubin valley [no visual traces with me at the moments, only memories], and in particular, that cave below Hadad...
we were all still back home.. no one was abraod, none of my friends.. [i recall when i first met Eve, how she said that all her friends have travelled, sorry Eve, at that time i didn't actually realize the feeling, only now].
i recall Sally, my beloved friend, the friend i would walk the earth for, the friend for whom i would risk anything.. she intended to help me in a way i'll never forget, she gladly offered me something she needed badly.. she was there for me all the time.. [there is no such thing as recognition, you either love, or love in a different way.]
i left a missed call on her mobile, must be around 04.34 back in Beirut.. she'd probably be worried when she wakes up to find it..
i feel a lot of nostalgia for her, for our long conversations, for our Sunday morning Nescafé and Manakeesh bi Zaatar [thyme pastries, when i used to visit her on almost weekly basis], for our common study sessions, for our shopping strolls.. i even miss her critiques when i waste money on useless stuff [technology]..
when coming to Dubai, i farewelled everyone including my parents, hiding my emotions..
only when she called me from her office to say goodbye, and sorry for not being able to make it to the aritport, only then, did i shed a tear...
distance...
in the summer, she'll be getting married to a gentleman, wish them health, peace of mind, love and wisdom... they make a great couple.
happy women's day Sally...
been like 10 min. i haven't written a word... my ideas are scattered over that dark sea inside my mind...
the surge should be over.
i cast it away deep inside.
sometimes i wonder about the meaning of being strong..
not looking deep inside very often, or having got rid of anything that causes that kind of agitation..?
guess with time i'll learn.
a wiseman would comment: when we are faced with a certain need, our mind takes us to that place where we last found comfort or fulfillment...
i'd strongly agree.
listening to Fairuz...
there are these moments when you remember the past with a bitter-sweet feeling... you hold your breath, then just, sigh...
i recall the days when i was back in lebanon, our excursions to the Kannoubin valley [no visual traces with me at the moments, only memories], and in particular, that cave below Hadad...
we were all still back home.. no one was abraod, none of my friends.. [i recall when i first met Eve, how she said that all her friends have travelled, sorry Eve, at that time i didn't actually realize the feeling, only now].
i recall Sally, my beloved friend, the friend i would walk the earth for, the friend for whom i would risk anything.. she intended to help me in a way i'll never forget, she gladly offered me something she needed badly.. she was there for me all the time.. [there is no such thing as recognition, you either love, or love in a different way.]
i left a missed call on her mobile, must be around 04.34 back in Beirut.. she'd probably be worried when she wakes up to find it..
i feel a lot of nostalgia for her, for our long conversations, for our Sunday morning Nescafé and Manakeesh bi Zaatar [thyme pastries, when i used to visit her on almost weekly basis], for our common study sessions, for our shopping strolls.. i even miss her critiques when i waste money on useless stuff [technology]..
when coming to Dubai, i farewelled everyone including my parents, hiding my emotions..
only when she called me from her office to say goodbye, and sorry for not being able to make it to the aritport, only then, did i shed a tear...
distance...
in the summer, she'll be getting married to a gentleman, wish them health, peace of mind, love and wisdom... they make a great couple.
happy women's day Sally...
been like 10 min. i haven't written a word... my ideas are scattered over that dark sea inside my mind...
the surge should be over.
i cast it away deep inside.
sometimes i wonder about the meaning of being strong..
not looking deep inside very often, or having got rid of anything that causes that kind of agitation..?
guess with time i'll learn.
a wiseman would comment: when we are faced with a certain need, our mind takes us to that place where we last found comfort or fulfillment...
i'd strongly agree.
posted by nour at 05:03
8 Comments:
Do u love her, or is she just a friend for u in ur heart?
angel:
she is my friend.
that's a very sweet post, Nour.. the things we remember when we're nostalgic, or listening to Fairuz, or driving alone!
I've been shutting out Fairuz lately, did i tell you that? or maybe just taking a break :)
what a gentle breeze.
Baptizd by nostalgia. We take things for granted. The blue sky above us, the "brown" earth below us and the colorful creatures around us. Nothing capture our imagination or bids us to look, feel, smell, touch and hear until that very thing is gone. Then we know that we can love. We love out of our weakness. We love out of our needs. We love because we have no more. We love because we are desperate.
Nour. You remind me of my first few months in Canada. Yes. I wept. Yes I cried. Yes I missed the dirty ground, the poluted air, even the noisy and dirty streets of Lebanon, but now I appreciate. It is now, and only now that I love my country. It is now that I love my Lebanon.
Note: thank you for your recent comment on FOTOREFLECTION. I had a problem with the comments link. It wasn't openning. It's fixed now. So you can leave comments as you wish. Appreciated.
Loved your post. Keep it up
Nour, you know how important and deer you are to me, you actually were there for me as well every time i needed you (that's what TRUE friends are for anyway) and i am happy and lucky to have you in my life.
There will be much more of our " long conversations and Sobhiyi...with Mankouch...", i promise.
Distance has actually made our communication unfrequent, but you have to know that you are always present with me, and i do as well re-live our memories from time to time.
I love you very much, and i want to thank you for your post...you made me cry ya ninio....
mmm next time when you post sthg like this, call me and warn me not to open your blog ...
oh Nour, I cannot wait for April to be back home, well 15 days but better than nothing, huh?!
Distance helps us realize what people mean to us. I'm thousands of miles from my childhhod home, but now that I don't see the people I love as often, my feelings and appreciation for them are stronger...
This is a beautiful post. She sounds like a special friend. You are both lucky to have each other.
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